Ashlee Simpson – Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya Ya Ya)

This song is one of my secret shames. I remember what a bomb this album was. At the time, she was trying really hard to get a career going. She’d out-lived her little SNL debacle and was married to Mr. Falloutboy Wentz. She was trying to act again and had undergone plastic surgery and a new tan hollywood blonde “look.” But she just couldn’t pull it off and this album really came and went within seconds on the music spectrum.

It’s awful, it’s bubble gum, and it’s so 80′s. But it’s totally 80′s in the most superficial and obnoxious way. It’s like a teen girl who says she loves the 80′s but was born in 1993. So you say “Oooh, right, you love gay guys and that it’s socially acceptable for you to wear neon mini skirts with your junk hanging out because ‘OMG THE EIGHTIESSSS.’” The SOUND is still there. They are completely trying to market ON that fact, to pander to said mini-skirt wearing tweens. But it’s like, I totally just don’t care. It’s a commercial jingle I find myself singing when I mix honey into my tea cup. And what’s more whoreish than advertising? SO SCREW IT, says my logic, and BRING IT, cry my ears!

I can’t help myself. The song makes me want to dance around. It DOES make me dance around. It’s stupid and fun and god damn that stupid little Ashlee Simpson. No matter how shitty her acting is (oh my god, did you SEE the re-boot of Melrose place? WOW) or how desperate for coolness points and fame she reeks…I love this stupid song. TO THE SHAME VAULT WITH YOU!